21. Teatro Goldoni
Everyone I know has a story about Teatro Goldoni. One person told me about the time they were eating there and the man at the table next to them proposed to his girlfriend. In response, she asked to go to the bathroom and never came back. Another friend told me about the time she was eating there with her parents and some ladies of the night, if you know what I’m saying, were conducting some business at the bar. I had no stories about Teatro Goldoni, so I was glad to finally make some memories of my own.
I had read a lot of reviews of the restaurant that referred to the decor as “circus-themed”. I was ready for some insane juggling monkeys hanging from the ceiling, but sadly, the only circus theme I saw was the diamond patterned walls. I guess it was a more reserved circus. Carnivaleit was not. But I guess if a restaurant was themed like the Depression-era dust bowl, it wouldn’t exactly make me want to spend $40 on lobster risotto. But I digress…
But I don’t digress too far! Before I talk food, I need to talk prices. After eating at lo these many fancy pants restaurants this year, it takes a lot for me to get sticker shock. Well, lucky for you Teatro Goldoni, you shocked me. Two plates of pasta, one martini and our bill was NINETY DOLLARS.I mean, come on people. Ninety bucks? For pasta? I know there was lobster in it, but it wasn’t full of lobsTERS or diamonds or Range Rovers or anything. A touch pricey, even for K St. standards.
But the food, was it $90 worth of good? Meh. It was probably $50 worth of good, but I needed to be seriously impressed for the money. I got the magic lobster risotto, the one dish that’s been recommended to me this year more than any other. It is a major portion and it is chocked full of lobster, though I found the tail meat to be a little tough. The claw meat was delightful. Patrick had the cavatelli pasta with Maine lobster and thyme cream sauce. Here is what Patrick has to say:
“Pluses: Food was delicious. Pasta was good. Sauce was great.
Minuses: I didn’t go for lunch, I went for dinner! And when I eat, I want it to be the last meal I eat for the night. And after I got to an Italian restaurant, I don’t expect to go to the gym after. I expect to fall in to a coma. To summarize, the portion size was small.”
He also complained that since the menu said “Maine lobster” he expected a giant lobster on his plate. Another notable quotable from Patrick:
“If the menu said Rhode Island lobster, it would have been fine. But it didn’t. It said Maine.”
I do think he would have been a pretty happy camper had the portion been about twice the size. I tasted a bit and it was pretty great, and his ratio of lobster to not lobster was a lot higher than in my risotto.
All in all, the food at Teatro was definitely good but next time I go I’ll need someone to subsidize my meal. Paging Mom and Dad!
